I never know when these episodes will occur, but I have fallen into another bout of depression.
The major problem is that I cannot pinpoint as to when it exactly occured and a particular reason, but lately I have felt utterly worthless. I am not enjoying any activities that I am involved in, including the band. Work as usual sucks because I am not doing anything worthwhile . I would love to be in a job that shows I have made something of my life and instead I am just wasting my time and my life away. None of my friends respect me which is something I cant blame them for; whats there to respect? I havent made much effort in contacting members of my family; yeah I am angry at them for their push into me becoming someone how horrible of them. The real sad thing is that I have met a girl that is interested in going out with me. She is absolutely beautiful which makes me scratch my head. What the fuck does she see in me? There is nothing to see because I do not deserve her; she can have any guy she wants. She made not see that now but its only a matter of time before she does and I'll either end up pushing her away or she'll lose interest. Same o' same o'. I absolutely hate myself.
so that is all. Hopefully the next time I speak to you I will get out of this depression. Just right now I do not see any reason to get out of it.
